How Are You? Do you need a Resilience BOOST? Here is something to work on…

An idea from Matthew Hill #resilience #virtual #confidence #help #recording

Virtual Resilience – More Important than EVER. – Affirmation Tape

Do you want to help yourself become super prepared and in-the-zone before chairing that all important Zoom meeting next week? Or, pitching your business idea to some high-rollers to generate some much needed “recovery” income? 

This practical post will take you from feeling like a nervous, hesitant wallflower to becoming a centred, confident and resilient powerhouse. And, it will work again and again, EVERY TIME YOU NEED IT.

Living in stormy times.

Esteem Issues – Unless you are a psychopath, you will have days when you experience lower  levels of self-esteem, drive and confidence and where the prospect of “putting on a show” fills you with dread. Here, we borrow a little magic from NLP and package up your best past to make it available to you in the now. How useful does that sound? So, here we go…

If only The Donald had made an affirmation recording!

Action time – Start by writing out your “best of” lists. Then, refine and hone them, as you type them up, and, collecting them in a power Word document that will represent the best version of YOU.

Please do this with a positive heart, a clear mind, and, keep at it until you fill the pages. 

There are 9 great lists to fill in. 

Enjoy doing the work and you will reap the reward when you record them for your everlasting affirmation “tape.”

Profile – When you look through the files on your computer, you will probably find many different versions of your personal profile. You never threw out your core profile but just adding words and clients or awards as you accumulated them.

Question. When would now be the time to dust off that document and give it a spring clean? Does it contain a killer profile sentence? “I help (target customer type, W) to achieve (customer W’s dreamed of outcome and result, X) by providing (product / service, Z) in (unique and value added way, Z) and I do this because (purpose, manifestation of your drivers and values – inserted here) and, because it is the right thing to do…”

Deal Sheet – This is a review of your prestigious and wide client list, the types of people you work with, or, institutions you have helped, and, a general exercise in reflected glory. Do please, enjoy filling out this long and illustrious list (and refresh it regularly.) Just hearing the names being read back to you will fill you with excitement, good memories and top up your identity bucket with value and glory.

Country, place list. If you were a pre – Covid carbon basher (that is a conversation for another time) list the places where you have conducted business. Countries and towns. This will probably be a more impressive list than you first think and, again, fill you with a positive vibration, happy memories, and excitement.

What, specifically do you do? – Here we are looking for actions, applications, verbs, applied competencies etc. that will give you the feeling that you are a valid and dynamic action taker, and, have a wide and deep capability. You get the job done.

Incoming praise – Why do all the heavy lifting yourself? Take a moment to record all the kind, true and positive things other people have said about you over the years. Find this material in your LinkedIn recommendations and endorsements. This represents an easy place to start – Pick out and note key power phrases that someone else has said about you – Phrases that make you feel good. Job references that others have supplied for you, if you have access to them are a gold mine. Positive appraisal comments that stick in your mind are worth their weight in gold. Even, kind words said at a birthday, work anniversary or leaving do speech can be mined for this exercise. Any memory of someone shared by someone you respect, saying something both true and positive will be just the right phrase to note down for this affirmation compilation list.

Numbers – I was coaching an executive moving from Germany to the US the a little while ago, and he talked about launching his new senior role to his assembled team, using a one slide presentation – On the slide were 8 circles, each containing a one or two digit number. He expanded – “This is my life, summed up in 8 numbers.” He went on to tell a simple story of his life and work, using those numbers.

What numbers do you have? Your life experiences will soon add up to some impressive figures – How many customers have you served? Awards have you won? Posts have you posted? Trainees have you trained? Students have you taught? Courses have you built? Products have you sold? Etc.

My example is specific to me and illustrates how quickly the numbers grow. 30, 6, 5, 600, 2,149 – I have presented and trained in more than 30 countries, written 6 books, worked for 5 Governments, published 600 pieces on the internet, won two major prizes, and, my newsletter has been read in 149 countries, etc. etc. etc.

Zoom in on achievements – Here, you may get a little overwhelmed, so focusing on your more recent achievements can really help boost your morale. What have you won and done in the last 12 months?

Gratitude list – Reader’s that know me, know that I am never more than 4 feet away from a gratitude list. Writing down, fresh every day, 50 or 75 simple, small and ordinary things that you are grateful for, is an amazingly life affirming exercise.

When you have done this 10 times or so, you will have the chance to pick out the highlights to form a truly outstanding gratitude list to add to your affirmation catalogue, ready to record.

What is my Purpose?

Purpose – This can be an extension of your, “I help…” statement or something entirely different. It may contain your version of your identity, your mission, your vision, your hopes and dreams and will, probably, reflect your purpose in work and life too.

OK so far? If you need to get in contact with me and ask a question, send a short E Mail to matthew.hill@hillnetworks.com

NOW. Take a breather. And,

Make Your Affirmation Recording – Here, comes the fun bit. Print off your amazing lists and walk around the house, and bring those key words and short sentences to life. Shout out loud as you walk, creating eloquent statements from your basic notes. This is a technique used by actors and NASA astronauts to own and remember things. ***Create an encouraging and super special recording by imagining you are talking to a slightly younger and more nervous version of yourself and you are delivering an inspirational pep talk to this you figure, before their important event.*** What tone will work best?

When you have done this 2, 3 or 4 times, you will be ready to record your own affirmation “tape”.

You might think that this would end up being a 2-hour monologue that will send you to sleep. In practice, however, it normally works out at 10 to 20 minutes of powerful, encouraging and exciting super-material, that really hits the spot, revs you up and releases an abundance of happy chemicals, “can-do” thoughts, and, helps you to overcome nerves, hesitation and worry.

Vibration

Pick a soothing semi-hypnotic tone…

Use a good microphone, your smartphone or your laptop, and, then clean up the result, editing out umms, aagghs, verbal fluffs and word misfires. Do it in one natural recording and repeat fluff lines, knowing that you can easily edit them out later on.

Result – You will be left with the single most encouraging audio product ever invented to boost your mood, fill you with resilience and confidence and put you in the most productive, creative and awesome mood for the whole day.

What have we just done? Researched it once, rehearsed it 4 times, recorded it once, edited it once, and, you now have something truly powerful, that you can use EVERY DAY!

How cool is that?

Over to you – The sooner you kill your doubt, get stuck into compiling your lists, the sooner you will finish your off-the-charts, affirmation super-product, and, start benefiting from being able to put yourself in an optimal state, on demand, for all those important moments that just keep coming your way.

***All the best with making your affirmation recording.***

Author profile – Matthew Hill is a presentation skills coach, working with European Corporate executives to help them get the most out of their careers and give the most to their customers, in an ethical and sustainable way.

For a positive exchange, please do drop Matthew a short E Mail via matthew.hill@hillnetworks.com

Donald J. Trump 45 – It is NOT that he lost – It is why he mighta coulda woulda walked to victory! That is the fascinating (and unexamined) part about this US Election!

Warning (This is a thought-provoking article that does not hold back – Do not read if you suffer from a nervous condition ;))

Lest we forget – He polled the second largest popular vote in the history of the USA – And, did so after; Covid, George Floyd, 40 million laid off workers, Russian election interference, impeachment, Comey, Stormy Daniels, 1,000,000 unfinished sentences, slacking off to the golf course, not reading his daily briefings, calling US war dead “losers”, telling countless lies, setting half of the US against the other half, Covfefe, Melania’s many public hand slaps, and, admitting to fancying his own daughter.

And, if Covid had not happened, he would probably have been revving up for his second term right now. 

No, the question is…

Why is he SOOOOO popular with an enormous part of the whole of the USA?

Don’t judge me

Do you sometimes get fed up when morally superior people in your company, in your community, or, in the press, preach, bully and claim the moral high ground, or, attempt to beat you over the head with advice about “doing the right thing”? Do their pontifications irritate you, make you feel judged, and, give you a pain that conflicts you? It is the dilemma of choosing between feeling comfortable (and being allowed to get on with your own life, unjudged) or changing and doing the better thing, taking that path that is normally honourable but much harder and less pleasant to follow.

Well, you don’t get any of that with The Donald. 

If there’s anything that is certain. He is not better than you, he will not preach at you, and, he has set many life examples that you can easily exceed.

He is winking at you, and saying, “Hello, my fellow and flawed Americans – everything is going to be alright. You are okay. Don’t worry about it.”

And 10s of millions of American voters, really appreciate that.

No shame 

What have you done that you regret (whether you got caught doing it or not)?

The US cultural norm for this is to; get caught, confess (“I am not a crook”) and apologise, be forgiven by the people, and, carry on.

Not The Donald.

Has any figure, in the public domain, been found out in breaking as many taboos as him? I can’t think of many. And, what’s his reaction? “I DON’T CARE.” 

As well as his pre-recorded messages of, denial, conspiracy, and, blaming others, there is not one scintilla of regret, shame, acknowledgement or apology to be had. 

And it works – Would you like to flaunt a get-out-of-all-jails-free-card like that?

Some of the greatest people in history and plenty of the most ordinary ones too, have crossed the line somewhere. They’ve stepped out on their marriage. They’ve tooted cocaine in the office bathroom. They’ve driven drunk. They’ve fiddled their corporate expense account. They’ve dodged tax. They’ve said something inappropriate to an attractive young co-worker.

How would society’s moralists have them feel about themselves? 

After #metoo, how are they meant to sleep at night? Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby are the Olympic gold medallists of power sleaze. Trump is not them (and neither are you) but no one is 100.00% clean and free of something they did and now regret.

Question – Who is the one person that can get you back to feeling OK about yourself?

Answer. Donald J. Trump.

He acts as the therapeutic poster boy for resilience, bluff, and, carrying on regardless.

Great America. Again?

Privilege , white guilt and white superiority 

The summer of 2020 echoed to the sound of white self-flagellation. For the Trumpers, performative declarations, virtual signalling and the articulation of a never-ending debt to all descendants of slavery, is the position taken by the other side.

For them, their black neighbours play music too loud, too late, and, just too damn often, and, it is their right to call the cops.

They live in the now and have no time for history, causation, or cure.

And, don’t get them started on white middle-class protesters.

Here they see hypocrisy and performance art.

They saw and commented this Summer, on local black accountability for the state of some of their neighbourhoods, for their children’s behaviour in school, and, for school dropouts being unemployable and choosing not to engage with being part of the whole of America.

And Trump looks on. Very balanced in his view – He does not judge. He does not condemn. He sees merit on both sides.

With this, he expunges many Americans of their feelings of guilt. He does not have any white guilt himself and does not even acknowledge its existence. His fans find this refreshing, liberating and freeing.

Freed now of white guilt, where does he lead us on the subject of Race?

Have you ever thought that political correctness has gone too far? When a Native American spokesman wishes not to be referred to as Native American but Indian? With humour, he states that this stupid white geographical mistake amuses him and reflects a more honest relationship between the locals and the newcomers!

We can all be irritated with difference, in the moment. The Donald gives permission to dust off that irritation or articulate it out loud.

Again, this is freeing for a vast number of Americans. It promises to put an end to endlessly punishing and blameful messages about America’s darkest chapter.

Think about it. Carry white guilt for the rest of your life and feel sorry for the black descendants of slavery for ever, or, be given the chance to move on. For his supporters, it is not a difficult choice.

And, the Trump bonus – Being allowed to speak up on what is really going on in the scariest parts of America, (East LA, South Chicago, West Baltimore, etc) and do so openly without holding back. There is a massive irony just here. It is the “Karens”, in their loud and scary way, that are further down the track in asking for individuals to be accountable for the violence and hopelessness felt in these brutalised communities.

His presence encourages this side of the conversation to be aired.

Tax avoiding, draft avoiding, question avoiding

Do you want your salary, wealth and tax payments made public? Will your answer be, “Sure, why not?” The vast majority would say, “No.” 

We are all part of consumer, competitive, commercial capitalism, where good enough is NOT enough. If we are honest, all of us have made bad investments. All of us have experienced losing money somewhere. Most of us have overspent at one point or another. We have all been financial losers.

So, how does Trump’s secrecy, avoidance and awful business track record help half of America? It lets 10s of millions off the hook. They can now laugh and smile, as they fully know (if they choose to find out) that he was faking it all along on The Apprentice. That his pitch for president was fake – His income was exaggerated, his business acumen was super overinflated, and the canvas containing his successful book, “The art of the deal”, should have been burnt and not hung in a Gallery. Again, his brand, and surface success, helps to absolve half of America of any feelings they might have, of doubt, shame and neurosis about past failure, present modesty or future disappointment. 

He is the healing Messiah of mediocrity, and he works his miracles in every state.

Does your wife love you?

For many people, their marriage has become old and stale. The initial excitement, eroticism, friendship and happiness, has, over the years, transmuted into a painful dance of nagging and avoidance, a brother-sister neutrality which is functional but unexciting, or, a conscious and ongoing experiment in finding stimulation, in the true and certain knowledge, that the day you stop trying, will be the day your relationship dies.

(That is not to say many people don’t have a fantastic and fulfilling life partner-life partner symbiotic, 5-star, ongoing romance but these wonderful and fortunate people are not in the majority.)

Trump’s beautiful, glamorous, trophy wife, represents schadenfreudian delight to all those people who dread going home in the evening. 

Melania, trapped in her golden cage, with her soap opera behaviour in public, thrills a massive audience, who can completely relate to Big Orange, and, totally get and feel his humiliation and pain. 

(and, and, millions of men, fantasise every evening about getting away with what he got away with – They don’t hate him, they want to be him.)

The Trump bedroom is a cathartic space for millions of the Nation’s couples.

Living a simpler, schoolkid reality 

He got away with mocking a disabled reporter, in-group male-to-male bragging about harassing women, calling much more experienced and professional political opponents by the rudest, most personally offensive and cruellest names, and bringing heroes down to earth with a bump and an insult. Yes, he got away with ALL of it.

Trump has rewritten the moral code, like The Goonies film in reverse  (that raggle-taggle gang of misfit children. In The Goonies, the kids had to grow up quickly, and overcome their flaws to defeat true evil.) In Trumpworld, the new playbook allows half of America to revel in the simple delight, of BEING AND ACTING LIKE A CHILD. When you analyse his behaviour, it is that of a hormonal, 13-year-old, cocky but fragile, high schooler, desperately trying to be popular with the class, knowing that he cannot compete on grades or sporting prowess. 

Avoiding the cliff edge of social exclusion, his class clown antics entertain everybody, and levels the social playing field by ridiculing, greatness or difference, treating both imposters just the same.

Again, many don’t castigate him, they applaud his chutzpah.

Super sensitive 

His narcissistic fragility with hundreds of documented examples of him lashing out, again as the 13-year-old, may not play well with the intellectuals. Few would dispute that it brings the role of President to a new and all-time low. His record has appalled most community leaders, teachers, and anyone else, whose day job centres on raising the behavioural bar for their wards and pupils.

His super fans, though, can live vicariously through his spats and Twitter rants. He expresses what they cannot. On Twitter, he is trashy David, slinging rocks at intellectual Goliath. He represents the people, and they see him winning, through the bizarre medium of Twitter, at a global level. 

They think what he thinks, but do not have the platform to say what he says. They may not be heard by anybody, but their message is heard through him. Trump is their proxy, he is their role model, he fills in as their alter ego.

Hollywood film hero 

Ronald Reagan may have been the official film actor, playing romantic leads but former POTUS Trump is performing live all the time. The last four years have been more like The Truman Show than The West Wing.

Can anyone honestly deny, hate him, loathe him or love him, that you just can’t leave him alone? He makes you rubberneck and stare at the latest car crash of his own making. Interesting. 

How many thousands of hours and how many millions of dollars / pounds / euros have been spent imitating him, reporting his behaviour, and so, promoting his brand?

He must be the most commented on person in the history of the World?

And, what was the intention of all those who attempted to mock and ridicule him? Before he was elected, Jon Stewart pointed out all the foibles of the “Manbaby” in relentless and logical detail. And, what happened? The other half of America elected Tump President.

All the non-Fox-like media, spent so much time producing programmes to laugh at him, fully expecting to topple this man with his feet of clay.

What they were unaware of, was that their output provided free publicity, promoting aspects of his character that his audience loved, and that his fans could not get enough of. Their character assassination helped promote him to the highest job in the land.

American Wall

The Magic of Donald J Trump.

What we all have to understand is that his freedom from personal shame, his freedom from personal white guilt, his freedom from personal accountability and responsibility, and, any need to tell the truth, is now seen as a true freedom. Trumps’ brand and behaviour now represents, AMERICAN FREEDOM.

Conclusion

The last 5 years have represented the metropolitan elites of America utterly failing to “get” what the 74,000,000 see in The Donald. What does that say about America? 

And,

What lesson is to be learnt by the middle? Mockery does not work. Logic does not work. Impeachment does not work. Preaching does not work. Moral superiority does not work.

If the chattering classes of America want to speak for a whole and healed country, is it time to work out something that will work and work for both sides. It must be something that includes Trump’s liberated, energetic and confident band of Trumpiacs.

Any ideas?